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Teenage girl told to cover up cleavage at prom or leave

SILVERDALE, Wash. — Staff members at Central Kitsap High School told a busty 17-year-old student to cover up her cleavage at the prom or go home — a move that is under fire by ther students who question if there is a double standard in the dress code.

kitsapStaff members at the prom told senior Brittany Minder she was showing too much cleavage last Saturday.

“She’s gone through a really rough time because prom means a lot to everyone,” said senior Rachel Stoeckel, who described herself as one of Brittany’s best friends. “She just got there and they wouldn’t let her in. It ruined her whole night and experience, and she never gets to do that again.”

Brittany’s family was too upset to talk about it on camera because, they said,  they weren’t prepared for all the media attention the incident is getting.

But the controversy now is that the dress code isn’t applied evenly to everyone. Images of students at the prom posted to Facebook show outfits that other kids say don’t seem to fit the dress code.

“I think there were a lot of girls that were wearing risqué dresses, and they got in,” said Stoeckel.

Seniors say the enforcement of the dress code isn’t uniform — and that policy should change.

But the district says their dress code is clear. It even requires students to sign a contract detailing what is and what isn’t acceptable, so students don’t buy an outfit that’s isn’t in line with the code.

31 comments

  • NAVYTOWN

    Cleavage!!!???? Oh, the horror of it all!!! Folks, it's nothing that can't be seen everywhere you go…..swimming pools, shopping centers, public parks, etc. Why are men allowed to go shirtless in public almost everywhere, yet when a woman shows cleavage at a senior prom it's suddenly a major incident? School officials really need to lighten up. Most if not all of the students have watched porn, on the internet anyway, so seeing a little cleavage at prom isn't really a big deal anymore…..except to uptight school officials. No wonder teens think adults are ridiculously out of touch.

  • James

    Have to follow school code. If it wasn't being followed for all students, then that is a problem and shouldn't have happened to the girl. Should also make rules clearly stated so the students know what is acceptable before they go buy their attire. It is becoming a problem. Hence, all the sexual problems in our country with abuse to teens and kids.

  • Omegacron

    So wait, being told to pull her dress up a little ruined her night? Wow, people these days are way too sensitive…

    • Alex

      Pull her dress up a little? I’m sorry, but you can’t just “pull the dress up a little”; it’s strapped in and laced. They attacked her for the way her body is and let other girls in wearing risqué dresses.

  • Dapandico

    It is her civil right to dress like a hoochie momma. Now she is traumatizied and will qualify for SSID payments.

  • Concerned Citizen

    But the rules clearly stated the dress code. She knowingly violated the rules. Rules are to be followed, like them or not. The school simply asked her to cover up or go home. This society today needs to follow the rules and stop trying to blame, outright defiance on the persons part onto someone else. Take accountability for your actions. Now there is time and unnecessary attention wasted on this story. Grow up. If you think the rules are bad now, what would this young lady have done back in the 50's.

    • jennie

      None of the skinny girls got in trouble. The pictures show the other girls letting their boobs hang out. I dont care if there was a dress code that she didn't follow, they should have told the other girls to leave too.The teachers are way worse than the kids in highschool, they are more ignorant than the popular kids. Don't be afraid to show off your body…. big or small, short or tall. Screw the skinny bitches

      • Concerned Citizen

        In any of your replies you have not once stated that she had not obeyed the rules or accepted the consequences of her actions. Yes, rules should be applied and adhered by all I don’t argue that at all, but it comes back to the accountability of your actions. Wear the appropriate clothing and everything will be fine. Just because someone else may get away with something does not make it alright for you. Guess what? That’s life. Like it or not. Get over it. Stop blaming others, stop saying “well they wore this and they did that!” Take accountability for your own actions or just follow the rules. Pretty simple if you ask me.

  • MomOfTeens

    I am glad to see this side of the story. The original piece by komo did not get deep enough into the reason why their family went public. The issue is that the code was not applied to everyone, only the extremely large busted girls. And the code exists for all dances, yet went unenforced until prom night. Apparently that is the night where it mattered. The family wants the school to apologize to her for how she was treated as the comments that were made to her that night were not appropriate. The dress code needs to be rewritten to be fair to all of the young women.

  • Concerned Citizen

    I 100% agree, the rules are to apply to all. And must be enforced for every event. However, like I state before, simply obey the rules in place and there will not be any issues. Why does the school have to apologize for enforcing the rules? The parents took their daughter out and bought the dress with the young lady knowing full well of the rules. Everybody now wants everyone else to apologize for this or for that. Come on people. Yes I fully agree the school didn’t have a great track record upholding the rules. But I you don’t break the rules then all is grand. And I don’t care if you are skinny, blue, or pink with yellow poka dots. Rules apply to all. They apply at your house don’t they? So let’s stop. The school does not owe anyone am apology. They simply enforced the rules. All be it very inconsistent. This country is so bent on blaming everyone else for your actions, wanting an apology for this and that, and give me this for nothing. Grow up. Take accountability for your actions, work hard and you will be rewarded with accomplished goals and the fact of knowing you did this! You earned this and you did it all by following the rules, earning the goals you set for yourself. Stop blaming others for the blatant disregard to follow the rules.

    • Joe Cker

      No! You will be held responsible for someone else ACTION. If you can't see this then you should run straight to the koolaide and ask for an extra lage glass.

  • MomOfTeens

    They enforced one rule on one or two girls. That is not exactly enforcing the rules in my book. You would feel okay if, let's say the state came and checked your septic tank or sewer but not anyone else's on your entire street? Or your home is up to code, but not check your neighbor's?

    And, is cleavage that big of a deal? Why can't a dress code speak more to specific dress types rather than the amount of cleavage? If i could write the code, I would say no bare midriffs, no cut outs, no necklines that drop lower than the bra line, and so on. Because clearly from the photos, cleavage was rampant at the prom. Just D size or less, apparently.

  • Anonymous

    I would like to inform you I am one of those girls in the picture. I WAS LEANING OVER and Q13 STOLE these pictures from a PHOTOGRAPHER’S Facebook who never even told us they would be posted online. We thought we were just getting the pictures that were printed off at the booth and that would be that, we never gave consent for anything to be posted online. In order to get in the picture you HAD to lean over. I had on a conservative dress that was poofy and covered my boobs, i just had to lean over and so did all the other girls. Also, Q13, it’s pretty effed up to take highschooler’s pictures without asking and televise them to highlight their “cleavage.” And also one of the other girls in one of the photos WAS wearing a shawl after being asked to for the night and only took it off to take photos because it looks stupid with a dress. Our administration favorites left and right so if you don’t understand the situation first hand you shouldn’t be talking.

  • CK Student

    I'm a current student here at Central Kitsap and I think that this story was blown out of proportion. Yes, she was asked to find something to wear to cover up, but she wasn't forced to leave the dance. She could have gotten a shawl and enjoyed the rest of the night. I think that they should inforce the dress code for everyone if they decide to inforce it for some girls. However, Brittany wasn't the only girl asked to either wear a shawl, our dates' jacket, or to go home if we couldn't follow their request. I was told by administration the same thing as Brittany; but I borrowed a light cardigan, went into the dance and still had a great night. Q13 fox needs to make sure that they have their facts straight because some of the other dresses that were so called "risque" and that other dresses "flew in the face of the dress code" in the video, were girls that were asked, just like Brittany, to cover up. And I admit, it was frustrating to see other girls that were not asked to cover up since their dresses were just as equally or more revealing than mine. Like Brittany said, it is hard to find a dress for people with larger chests, and of all the "rules" they choose to follow, they choose focus on the amount of cleavage shown. They didn't talk to any one about the other rules that were broken such as no open back dresses, no slits higher than mid-knee, or the actual dancing that was going on.

  • Ann

    It is unfortunate but not surprising to read that the school plays favorites. This type of dress code and objectification of teen girls is an issue in many districts, and it only creates frustration and confusion when rules are inconsistently applied.

  • Robbie duncan

    I would like to say I attend Central Kitsap High School, THEY FAVOR THE AP STUDENTS. There were plenty of girls showing WAY MORE THAN JUST CLEVAGE, however they did not get a notice or told to leave. AND THERE WERE MORE GIRLS THAN JUST Brittany, there were FOUR MORE GIRLS.

    • CK Student

      Robbie, it's not that they favor AP students. I am very involved at CK, and I'm taking 4 AP classes this year, 7 in my high school career, and I even had mrs. danner tell me to find something to wear over my dress or leave. I'm not disagreeing with you in the sense that they didn't make the rules fair to everyone, because there were some girls that should have gotten called out..but it's not the AP stduents that were favored.

  • jeff

    Sorry if it's not fair, but fat girls are not attractive. That's why she was told to go change. Ain't nobody got time for that

  • Get real

    Just because they make it in your size doesn't mean you should wear it. Someone would have made fun of her and then she would have said she was being bullied. Parents this lies within your realm of supposedly having common sense and proper parenting.

  • MomOfTeens

    Getreal, I doubt she would have been made fun of. The dress was beautiful, even if it wasn't what you would have suggested that she wear. If you look on google images for prom dresses, you will see strapless gown after strapless gown. It is kind of the norm right now.
    Here's what some other students were wearing at the ck prom
    https://www.facebook.com/media/albums/?id=3414034

  • Joe Coker

    If teachers and school officals got back to teaching instead of being fashion police then maybe just maybe we could start to compete in the world of academic. If people would quit making ingnorant rules then they would not be broken. Where would the U.S. be if we hadn't broken the rules. A bunch of rules are not worth the paper they are wrriten on if they are not enforced upon everyone concerned. If one is let by yor rules aren't being carried out and kids should not have to be the culprits for adult mistakes. Fire the teachers who let this happen and show the kids that they are not being blamed for adult mistakes.

    • MomOfTeens

      It was not "teachers" who did this, it was three school administrators. The best solution is not to fire anyone, but to educate them. They need to learn how a very large busted woman has challenges in finding a formal gown, and educated in how to deal with the dress code in a sensitive manner.

      What I dislike the most is that there are undertones of body-shaming when they enforce a dress code at a formal dance.

      Ask any girl if she would rather get sent home from school or sent home from the prom and she would say school, of course. The prom is supposed to be a special evening. It is too bad that adults seem to have forgotten what it was like to be a teen. She bought a beautiful gown. All the girls did, from the photos that I saw. Let them in without shawls and just focus on bigger issues like drugs and alcohol.

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