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Everything you need to know about the NFL Conference Championships

(CNN) — We’re one step closer to the season finale of Football Love Island!

This weekend, our two remaining couples will leave their hearts on the field as they smash their way to meaningful emotional connections victory! Who will win the ultimate dream date to Super Bowl LIV in sunny Miami, and who will be dumped from the bracket brokenhearted?

In the NFC, we have a pair of perennial dreamboats: The San Francisco 49ers and the Green Bay Packers. In the AFC, the Tennessee Titans will try to keep their Cinderella season spinning against the Kansas City Chiefs. Relationships will be tested. Fair catches will be reviewed. And absolutely no one will wear a bikini.

Read on for everything you need to know about this weekend’s NFL Conference Championship games. (The AFC game is first, so just scroll down if you want info on the NFC game.)

The AFC Championship

What time is the AFC Championship game?

The AFC Championship game between the Tennessee Titans and the Kansas City Chiefs will kick off on Sunday, January 19th at 3:05 pm E.T. at Arrowhead Stadium in Kansas City.

How can I watch?

The game will be live on CBS, or you can stream it on CBSSports, the CBSSports App, CBS All Access or through the bay window of your neighbor’s living room.

So what’s the vibe with these guys? Do you think they’re here for the right reasons?

The Kansas City Chiefs are led by quarterback Patrick Mahomes, who you may have seen showing off his comedy chops in a few State Farm commercials. He led the Chiefs to the AFC Championships last year, and even though they lost, his season-long heroics earned him the NFL’s Most Valuable Player award. He’s one of only three black quarterbacks to be named NFL MVP (the other two are the Carolina Panthers’ Cam Newton and the late quarterback Steve McNair.)

Also, Mahomes is 24! He’s 24 entire years old and he’s done all of this. A cool thing that football players and dating show contestants have in common is that contemplating their age will make you want to crawl into a sarcophagus and disintegrate.

But perhaps you’ll find a more seasoned prince charming in Kansas City’s coach, Andy Reid. At 61 years old, Reid is one of the winningest coaches in NFL history, and has a mustache that would make a fully-grown walrus roar with envy.

Winningest is definitely not a word

It totally is.

Okay, Tennessee Titans. Tell me more about yourself.

The Tennessee Titans may have seemed like blushing newbies coming into the playoffs, but they’ve proven to be one of the biggest sources of drama since then. First, they beat the New England Patriots and —

I knew something was missing! Tom Brady isn’t here!

Yes. Contrary to popular belief, the Patriots are not legally required to play in every single Super Bowl. Tom Brady and the gang got out-played and out-handsomed by the Titans in a shocking wild card game. Now, while the Titans play on, Tom Brady will be watching at home, probably in a tub of room temperature kombucha or something.

Haha, crabbed age will never get its cold slippery claws on that guy. Where were we?

Anyway, the Titans then beat the Baltimore Ravens in the divisional round, which was also a shock. A lot of people pegged the Ravens to go all the way, but Football Love Island is a cruel game.

Leading this band of underdogs is quarterback Ryan Tannehill. If they make it to the Super Bowl, expect some mild, TV-appropriate drama. You see, Miami and Tannehill used to be a thing. He spent six seasons with the Miami Dolphins before being dumped and then scooped up by the Titans. A year later, he’s had the kind of revenge glow-up every ex boyfriend dreams of.

The head coach of the Tennessee Titans is Mike Vrabel, a former NFL linebacker who won three Super Bowls with… wait for it… the New England Patriots!

What’s the spread for the game?

As of Friday morning, Kansas City was a 7-point favorite to win. As always, there’s some home team advantage built in there.

Will these teams be able to bring the drama?

No matter who wins or who loses, one thing is for sure: This game is going to be LOUD. On multiple occasions, Arrowhead Stadium has earned the title of loudest stadium in the world, and Chiefs fans hold the record for the loudest fans among outdoor stadiums. (The Titans, on the other hand, are used to playing in a very nice little stadium along the Cumberland River in Nashville.)

For what it’s worth, the Chiefs also do the same tomahawk chop and war cry as the Atlanta Braves and the Florida State Seminoles, so that will be, if not dramatic, then definitely problematic. On a different level of offensive, they also have one of the most retina-searing color schemes in professional sports.

While the Titans don’t have a controversial chant or racially insensitive mascot or hated name like other NFL teams, that doesn’t mean they’re without some vexing traditions.

For example, their big motto is “Titan Up.” Isn’t that something you do when you’re nervous? Or when you’re a Spartan trying to deflect an incoming hailstorm of arrows? Is their go-to defensive formation a phalanx? A testudo? What a mystery. Perhaps it will make more sense in song form.

IT DOES NOT.

The NFC Championship Game

What time is the NFC Championship Game?

The NFC Championship Game between the Green Bay Packers and the San Francisco 49ers will kick off on Sunday, January 19th at 6:40pm E.T. at Levi’s Stadium in Santa Clara, California.

How can I watch it?

The game will be live on Fox, or you can stream it through fuboTV.

What about these boys? Are they looking for love, or just a ring?

First of all, Green Bay Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers is 36. He is definitely a man. An old man, by NFL standards. And yes, he’s looking for love, if love is spelled L-O-M-B-A-R-D-I. Rodgers already has a Championship under his belt from the Packers’ Super Bowl win in 2010, but when you’re 36 and you play a punishing sport in one of the coldest places in the country, your biological football clock isn’t ticking anymore. It’s hacking up a death rattle. If Rodgers wants another shot at Super Bowl glory, it has to be now. Of course, whenever he retires he can always rely on one of his lucrative ad deals or business ventures to keep him young.

The coach of the Green Bay Packers is Matt LaFleur, who used to be the offensive coordinator for…The Tennesee Titans! (Research also shows he once played for a professional indoor football team called the Omaha Beef.)

That is definitely not a real team

It is, and their website makes us crave BBQ for some reason.

San Francisco 49ers, you’ve been quiet. What’s your deal?

The 49ers are helmed by 29-year-old quarterback Jimmy Garoppolo. Since everything circles back to the Patriots, it’s worth mentioning Garoppolo already has two Super Bowl Championships courtesy of his three and a half seasons in New England. However, he mostly appeared in relief roles, so this is the first time the young QB has been able to shine on his own in the playoffs. Heck, stuff this man full of avocados, shroud him in high-tech recovery pajamas and instill in him a deep fear of the natural aging process and he’s basically another Tom Brady.

The 49ers are coached by Kyle Shanahan whose dad, Mike Shanahan, won a Super Bowl in 1995 with the 49ers as their offensive coordinator. Football is such a small world!

What’s the spread for the game?

The 49ers are 7-point favorites to win. More on why later.

I’m really only here for the drama. Where’s the drama?!

Well, for one, these teams are old friends. And by “old friends,” we mean they met in Week 12 of this season and the 49ers beat the pants off of the Packers. The final score was a blistering 37-8, and while the teams are pretty evenly matched otherwise, there’s no doubt that crooked number will be blinking behind the eyes of every player on the field come Sunday.

Also, things would be a little more dramatic if the game were set in the Packers’ own Lambeau Field. Do you know how cold it gets in Green Bay at night around this time of year? Two degrees, no exaggeration. Players have literally gotten frostbite during playoff games at Lambeau.

Instead, the game will be taking place in the temperate haze of northern California. Levi’s Stadium, where the game will be played, even has a rooftop farm. Have you ever heard a phrase less dramatic than “rooftop farm?”

Still, if the 49ers do beat the Packers, you could witness the rise of one great quarterback while another great quarterback fades away.

*Sniff* Aaron Rodgers will never fade away.

You’re right. Not as long as we remember the time he appeared on Celebrity Jeopardy in a cardigan.

Now THAT’S a performance worthy of Football Love Island.

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