DEA agent warns of stoned rabbits, wildlife in testimony on medical marijuana

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SALT LAKE CITY — Have the rabbits around here looked a little, um, hazy lately? It’s probably because Washington state has legalized marijuana.

Well, at least that’s what one Utah Drug Enforcement Administration agent might have you believe.

According to the Washington Post, Utah is considering a bill that would allow patients dealing with serious conditions to use medical marijuana. Special agent Matt Fairbanks of the DEA recently testified in front of a Utah Senate panel on the subject, claiming if the medical marijuana law was passed in the state, wildlife may cultivate a taste for the plant, lose their fear of humans and be high all the time.

That’s right. Some bunnies and beavers and bears would become stoners if medical marijuana was made legal in Utah, Fairbanks said.

“I deal in facts,” Fairbanks told the Utah Senate panel, the Post reported. “I deal in science.”

Fairbanks, who has been with the DEA in Utah for a decade, spoke of his time weeding out pot grows in the back country of Utah. Fairbanks claimed large-scale weed cultivation had an untold cost on flora, animal life and water in mountain land. He saw rabbits that had even “cultivated a taste for marijuana,” he said, telling stories of a stoned bunny refusing to leave in the sight of danger.

“One of them refused to leave us, and we took all the marijuana around him, but his natural instincts to run were somehow gone,” Fairbanks said.

The Washington Post was clear to point out that large, unregulated drug grows could indeed have a harmful impact on the environment. And some animals — such as rabbits — do even develop a taste for marijuana, the Post reported. But whether the animals become dependent on it and crave the stuff is a answer that seems a bit far fetched, the Post reported.

Despite the agent’s testimony, the Utah Senate committee approved the bill that would legalize medical marijuana.

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9 comments

  • dg54321

    No, Fairbanks. You deal in propaganda and keeping your job secure. This is nonsense of the highest (pun intended) order. You’re afraid as legalization spreads, your ability to break down people’s doors and shoot their dogs with impunity will be taken away. The day the last DEA agent is out of a job will be a good day.

  • Steve Craven

    The DEA is the biggest rip off of our tax dollars and the most worthless part of our government. They are worried about some rabbits that have been eating on this planet for thousands of years with out becoming POT HEADS..You people are a joke. If your going to tell lie’s you should tell lie’s that are at the very least just a little bit believable.I mean animals have been on this earth eating plants and plants have been growing wild on this earth for thousands of years and i have yet to hear of even 1 Rabbit or any animal for that matter ever beating any one up for their twinkies. How bout you worry about all the drugs the DEA is letting across our borders EVERY DAY into the US. They are letting WAY WAY WORSE DRUGS into our country on a daily basis like Meth and heroin. They are just worried because if they start letting people grow their own they wont be able to make any money off of it like they are doing by letting these Cartells bring their poisons into the US on a daily basis… All people arent blind to their escapades..

  • Rod

    “I deal in facts. I deal in science,” said special agent Matt Fairbanks,”

    Just because he said so, doesn’t make it so. Cold THCa must be heated in order for it to become THC. Do these rabbits carry their own Bic lighters?

    This DEA “special agent is as ignorant as they come. It is impossible to get high eating cold marijuana. His so called evidence is pulled out of his backside, and has absolutely no truth in reality. He has no basis in facts or science.

  • Tony Dockery

    Well if it is legal to grow then safeguards can be implemented other wise illegal growing causes more environmental damage..I bet that DEA assBag didn’t think about that….

  • 2B1W/It

    “…And if you go chasing rabbits
    And you know you’re going to fall
    Tell ’em a hookah-smoking caterpillar
    Has given you the call…”

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