10 ways to not get arrested for assault

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policecarSEATTLE – Here are 10 simple tips from the Seattle Police department to avoid getting arrested for assault:

1) Don’t drunkenly walk into a cordoned-off construction site at 4th and Denny Way at nine in the morning.

2) Don’t ignore a construction worker when he tells you to leave.

3) Don’t pick up a traffic cone.

4) Don’t wear the traffic cone like a hat.

5) Don’t continue not leaving the construction site.

6) Do listen to a police officer when he comes over and asks you to leave the construction site.

7) Don’t fall down as the officer’s trying to escort you out of the construction site.

8) Definitely don’t punch a police officer in the face when he tries to help you up.

9) Don’t run away when that officer calls for back-up.

10) Don’t do any of those things, and you won’t be arrested and booked into the King County Jail for felony assault.

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  • Mr Holmes

    How is picking up a traffic cone and putting it on your head felony assault? Is this some kind of joke? Try getting a conviction with that crap, it wouldnt even make it to pre-trial. Rediculious

  • Travis

    Funny……but a more relavent list would be the top ten ways to NOT be assaulted BY the Seattle Police Department…..
    ie: 1- Stay out of Seattle
    2- Dont be a minority

  • Leo Wiseman

    These are obviously the steps this guy took to get arrested.
    Steps 1 – 7: Leading up to it.
    Step 8: Punching a police officer will almost always get you arrested – DUH

  • guest

    10 ways to not get arrested for assault?? #8 is the ONLY thing that is even assault and a no brainer, none of the other 9 things are even relevant.