SEATTLE — Olympia Beer is looking to have its long-lost pal, Bigfoot, returned to its rightful environs in the Pacific Northwest.
The iconic horseshoe beer company wants Bigfoot so bad,even, that they’re willing to pay handsomely for the hairy beast’s return.
On its website, the beer maker released the following mission statement:
Olympia Beer and Bigfoot have been leaving footprints together in the Pacific Northwest since 1896.
We have been sharing the same backyard for over a century and we believe it’s time to do what has never been done, and that is to offer a one million dollar reward to anyone who can ensure the safe capture of Bigfoot. When we say safe capture that means Bigfoot has to be alive and breathing folks, with no wounds. That’s right you can’t use any act of violence, no guns/knives/boxing gloves/nets/etc, only sugar or sweets to lure him in.
You must register to participate in the search. To report your discovery of irrefutable evidence of the existence of Bigfoot, click on the “Submit Capture Report” link on the left and follow the instructions to report your evidence. You participation in the search is subject to the complete Official Rules.
To aid us in this adventure, Olympia Beer is partnering with The Falcon Project
The Falcon Project has been identified as “the most penetrative search for Bigfoot ever conducted in the United States.” They will conduct an aerial search for Sasquatch employing an unmanned airship with high definition thermal imaging camera equipment.
Happy hunting!
9 Comments to “Beer company offers $1 million reward for ‘safe return of Bigfoot’”
April 9, 2013 at 4:15 PM
Someone please tell these idiots that even tampering with a "bigfoot" is a federal offense.
April 9, 2013 at 4:35 PM
Just where did you read that law? Bigfoot is not protected because been discovered in the U.S. You must have a petition the U.S. Department of Fish and Wildlife to list it as protected only after its been Discovered
April 10, 2013 at 11:18 AM
Undiscovered Species Protection Act
April 10, 2013 at 10:00 AM
My mom has really big feet. Does that count?
April 10, 2013 at 12:32 PM
Dan – you know what they say. Big Feet, Big 'Squatch!
April 10, 2013 at 1:35 PM
who are Olympia Beer to say where Bigfoot belongs? They don't own them. Morons.
June 24, 2013 at 7:00 PM
obviously like your website but you need to check the spelling on quite a few of your posts.
Many of them are rife with spelling problems and I to find it very troublesome to tell
the reality on the other hand I will surely come again again.